French's Interiisilioiial Copyrig-lited (in England, her Colonies, 
and the United States) Edition of the Works 
6005 of the Best Authors. 

9 No. 29. 



DCeither of Uhem 



A COMEDIETTA IN ONE ACT 



^ 



BY 

IVTISS COWEN 



Copyright, 1899, by T. H. French 

Amateurs are not allowed to produce this play without 
payment of the authors' royalty. All inquiries concern- 
ing same should be addressed to the publishers. 



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Price 15 Cents each.— Bound Volumes $1.25. 



VOL. I. 
Ion 
Fazio 

The Lady of Lyon« 
Richelieu 
The Wife 
The Honeymoon 
The School for Scandal 
Money 

VOL. IL 
The Stranger 
(Jrattdfather Whitehead 
Richard III 
Lore's Sacrifice 
The Gamester 
A Cure for the Heartache 
The Hunchback 
Don Ciesar de Bazan 

VOL. in. 
The Poor Gentleman 
Hamlet 
Charles IT 
Venice Preserved 
Pizarro 

The Love Chase 
Othello 
Lend me Five Shillings 

VOL. IV. 
Virginius 

King of the Commons 
Loudon Assurance 
The Rent Day 
Two Gentleuinn ofVerona 
The Jealous Wif» 
The Rivals 
Perfection 

VOL. V. [Debts 
A New Way to Pay Old 
Look Before You Leap 
King John 
Nervous Man 
Damon and Pvthiaa 
Clandestine ^larriage 
W'illiam Tell 
Day after the Wedding 

VOL. VL 
Speed the Plough 
Romeo and Juliet 
Feudal Times 
Charles the Twelfth 
The Bride 

The Follies of a Night 
Iron Chest [Fair Lady 
Faint Heart Never Won 

VOL. vn. 
Road to Ruin 
Macbeth 
Temper 
Evadne 

Bertram , 

The Duenna 

Much Ado About Nothing 
The Critic 

VOL. VIII. 
The Apostate 
Twelfth Night 
Brutus 

Simp«on & Co 
Merchant of Venice 
Old Heads* Young Hearts 
Mountaineers [riage 

Three Weeks after Mar- 

VOL. IX. 
Love 

As You Like It 
The Elder Brother 
Werner 
Giaippus 

''own and Country 
li'ing Lear 
B.'ue Devils 

VOL. X. 
Henry VIII 
Ma, ried and Single 
HenrvIV 
Paul Pry 
Guy 1 lannering 
Sweethearts and Wires 
Serioui- Family 
She Sti ops to Conquer 

(Fren 



VOL. XI. 
81 Julius Ca-sar 
8'.> Vicar of Wakefield 

83 Leap Year 

84 The Catspaw 

85 Th» Passing Cloud 

86 Drunkard 

87 Rob Roy 

88 George Barnwell 

VOL. XII. 

89 Ingomar 

90 Sketches in India 

91 Two Frie.nds 
9'^ Jane Shore 

93 Corsican Brothers 

94 Mind your own Business 

95 Writing on the Wall 

96 Heir at Law 

VOL. XIII. 

97 Soldier's Daughter 

98 Douglas 

99 Marco Spada 

100 Nature's Nobleman 

101 Sardanapalus 

102 Civilization 

103 The Robbers 

104 Katharine and Petruchio 

VOL. XIV. 

105 Game of Love 

106 Midsummer Night's 

107 Ernestine [Dream 

108 Rag Picker of Paris 

109 Flying Dutchman 

110 Hypocrite 

111 Therese 

112 La Tour de Nesle 

VOL. XV. 

113 Ireland As It Is 

114 Sea of Ice 
ll51Seven Clerks 

116 Game of Life 

117 Forty Thieves 

118 Bryan Boroihme 

119 Romance and Reality 

120 Ugolino 

VOL. XVL 

121 The Tempest 
1^2 The Pilot 

123 Carpenter of Rouen 

124 King's Rival 

1 25 Little Treasure 

126 Dombey and Son 

127 Parents' and Guardians 

128 Jewess 

VOL. XVIL 

129 CamiUe 

130 Married Life 

181 Wenlock of Wenlock 

132 Rose of Etlrickvale 

133 David Oopperfield 

134 Aline, or the Rose of 

135 Pauline [KiUarney 

136 Jane Eyre 

VOL. XVIII. 

137 Night and Morning 

138 jEthiop 

139 Three Guardsmen 

140 Tom Cringle 

141 Henriette, the Forsaken 

142 Eustache Baudin 

143 Ernest Maltravers 

144 Bold Dragoons 

VOL. XIX. 

145 Dred, or the Dismal 

>-•• [Swamp 

146 Last Days of Pompeii 

147 Esmeralda 

148 Peter Wilkins 

149 Ben the Boatswain 

150 Jonathan Bradford 

151 Retribution 

152 Mineral! 

VOL. XX. 
1 58 French Spy 

154 Wept of Wish-ton Wish 

155 Evil Genius 

156 Ben Bolt 

157 Sailor of France 

158 Red Mask 

159 Life of an Actresi 
ISe Wedding Day 



[Moscow 



VOL. XXt. 

161 All's Fair in Love 

162 Hofer 

163 Self 

164 Cinderella 

165 Phantom 

166 Franklin 

167 The Gunmaker of 

168 The Love of a Prince 

VOL. XXII. 

169 Son of the Night 

170 Rory O'More 

171 Golden Eagle 

172 RientI 

173 Broken Sword 

174 Rip Van Winkle 

175 Isabelle 

176 Heart of Mid Lothian 

VOL. XX I II. 

177 Actress of Padua 

178 Floating Beacon 

179 Bride of Lammermoor 

180 Cataract of the Ganges 

181 Robber of the Rhine 

182 School of Reform 

183 Wandering Boys 

184 Mazeppa 

VOL. XXIV. 
lS5 Young New York 

186 The Victims 

187 Romance after Marriage 

188 Brigand 

189 Poor of New York 

190 Ambrose Gwinett 

191 Raymond and Agnes 

192 Gambler's Fate 

VOL. XXV. 

193 Father and Son 

194 Massaniello 

195 Sixteen String Jack 

196 Youthful Queen 

197 Skeleton Witness 

198 Innkeeper of Abbeville 

199 Miller and his Men 

200 Aladdin 

VOL. XXVI. 

201 Adrienne the Actress 

202 Undine 

203 Jesse Brown 

204 Asmodeus 

205 Mormons 

206 Blanche of Brandywlne 

207 Viola 

208 Deseret Deserted 

VOL. XXVI 1. 

209 Americans in Paris 

210 Victorine 

211 Wizard of the Wave 

212 Castle Spectre 

213 Horse-shoe Robinson 

214 Armand, Mrs. Mowatt 

215 Fashion, Mrs. Mowatt 

216 Glance at New York 

VOL. XXVIII. 

217 Inconstant 

218 Uncle Tom's Cabin 

219 Guide to the Stage 

220 Veteran 

221 Miller of New Jersey 

222 Dark Hour before Dawn 

223 Midsum'rNight'sDream 

[Lanra Keene's Edition 

224 Art and Artifice 

VOL. XXIX. 

225 Poor Young Man 

226 Ossawattomie Brown 

227 Pope of Rome 

228 Oliver Twist 

229 Pauvrette 

230 Man in the Iron Mask 

231 Knight of Arva 

232 Moll Pitcher 

VOL. XXX. 

233 Black Eyed Susan 

234 Satan in Paris 

235 Rosina Meadows [ess 

236 West End, or Irish Heir- 

237 Six Degrees of Crime 

238 The Lady and the Devil 

239 Avenger, or Moor of Sici- 

240 Masks and Faces [ly 



VOL. XXXI. 

241 Merry Wives of Windsor 

242 Mary's Birthday 

243 Shandy Maguire 

244 Wild Oats 

245 Michael Erie 
^"46 Idiot Witness 

247 Willow Copse 

248 People's Lawyer 

VOL. XXXiL 

249 The Boy Martyrs 

250 Lucretia Borgia 

251 Surgeon of Paris 

252 Patrician's Daughter 

253 Shoemaker of Toulouse 

254 Momentous Question 

255 Love and Loyalty 

256 Robber's Wife 

VOL. XXXIII. 
267 Dumb Girl of Genoa 
2i8 Wreck Ashore 

259 Clari 

260 Rural Felicity 

261 Wallace 

262 Madelaine 

263 The Fireman 
284 Grist to the Mill 

VOL. XXXIV. 

265 Two Loves and a Life 

266 Annie Blake 

267 Steward 

268 Captain Kyd 

269 Nick of the Woods 

270 Marble Heart 

271 Second Love 

272 Dream at Sea 

VOL. XXXV. 

273 Breach of Promise 

274 Review 

275 Lady of the Lake 

276 Still Water Runs Deep 

277 The Scholar 

278 Helping Hands 

279 Faust and Marguerite 

280 Last Man 

VOL. XXXVI. 
381 Belle's Stratagem 
282 Old and Young 
2S3 Raflfaella 

284 Ruth O.akley 

285 British Slave 

286 A Life's Ransom 

287 Giralda 

288 Time Tries All 

VOL. XXXVIL 

289 Ella Rosen burg 

290 Warlock of the Glen 

291 Zelina 

292 Beatrice 

293 Neighbor Jackwood 

294 Wonder 

295 Robert Emmet 

296 Green Bushes 

VOL. XXXVlIL 

297 Flowers of the Forest 

298 A Bachelor of Arts 

299 The Midnight Bano,uet 

300 Husband of an Hour 

301 Love's Labor Lost 

302 Naiad Queen 

303 Caprice 

304 Cradle of Liberty 

VOL. XXXIX. 

305 The Lost Shin 

306 Country Squire 

307 Fraud and its Victims 

308 Putnam 

309 King and Deserter 

310 La Fiammina 

311 A Hard Struggle 

312 Gwinnette Vaughan 

VOL. XL. 

313 The Love Knot [Judge 

314 Lavater, or Not a Bad 

315 The Noble Heart 

316 CoriolanuE 

317 The Winter's Tale 

318 Erelcen Wilson 

319 Ivanhoe 

320 Jonathan In England 



cb's Standard Drama Continued on jd page of Cover.) 



SAMUEL FRENCH, 26 West aad Street, New York City. 



NEITHER OF THEM 



A COMEDIETTA IN ONE ACT 



/- 



MISS COWEN 



Copyright, 1899, by T. H. French 



New York I London 

SAMUEL FRENCH SAMUEL FRENCH. Ltd. 

PUBLISHER PUBLISHERS 

26 WEST 22D STREET I 89 STRAND 



M 



92 



L.it>P8iry of Congress 

Iwo Copies Received 
JAN 8 1901 

Copyright entry 

SECOND COPY 

Of^ivtMri to 

Of^ObK OlViSiON 

JAN 9 1901 



Ito 



t/ 



^^ 



c>^>^' 






CHARACTERS. 

Mr. Archibald Thompson (a retired wine merchant). 
Mrs. Archibald Thompson (his wife). 
Winifred (their daughter). 
Mrs. John Carrington. 



NEITHER OF THEM 



Scene. A prettily furnished morning-room. At the 

back French window, leading to the garden. Wini- 
fred discovered, seated in a low easy chair, she holds 
an open letter in her hand, and reads in an undertone. 

Winifred. " In less than twenty-four hours after the 
receipt of this letter, I shall be with you, and can now 
boldly ask your lather's consent to our engagement, with- 
out the risk of being called a fortune-hunter. I can now 
give my little wife all the comforts to which she has been 
accustomed quite independently of any dowry she may 
have Our separation has. been hard to bear, and yet it 
has proved the sincerity of my love, and made me feel 
how incomplete my life would be without you. And now, 

dearest Winnie " 

Enter Mr. Thompson, r. 

Mr. T. {speaking as he enters) Winifred ! 

Winnie. (aside) My father ! (hides the letter 
quickly) 

Mr. T. {rubbing his hands with great glee) Do you 
know who has just left me, Winnie ? Why. what's the 
matter ? You seem frightened. • 

Winnie. You— you came in so suddenly— I— I thought 
something had happened. 

Mr. T. You are right ; something has happened. 
What do you think it is ? Can't you guess ? 

Winnie. I have no idea. 

Mr. T. {speaking in her ear) You are engaged! 

W'lNNiE. {frightened) Father! 

Mr. T. {rubbing his hands and laughing) Look how 
she blushes. All girls are alike ! 

Winnie. But. father, vou misunderstand me. 

Mr T Oh I know, 'l know, you are frightened to 

3 



4 NEITHER OF THEM. 

death ; but the fright is a pleasant one. All girls are 
alike ! Now, listen. My old friend, Jonathan Brown, 
has often told me how much he admired you, but to-day 
lie has formally proposed. You are now twenty, and it 
is quite time you were married. Brown is an honest, 
steady-going, wealthy man, in the prime of life, and un- 
hesitatingly have I given my consent. And now, you are 
engaged. 

Winnie. But, father, you will not 

Mr. T. Will not ? 1 have already settled it, and now 
I must go and tell your mother the good news. Where is 
she ? Eh, you don't know ? Well, I shall find her mud- 
dling somewhere about the house, {exit R.) 

Winnie. Marry Mr. Jonathan Brown, a man old 
enough to be my father. Never ! But, what shall I do ? 
Oh, if Charlie were only here to help me. 

Enter Mrs. Thompson quickly l., with afi open letter in 
Iter hand. 

Mrs. T. There you are, Winifred ; I was on the point 
of sending for you. 

Winnie. What do you want of me, mother ? 

Mrs. T. I want nothing of you ; I bring you some- 
thing. 

Winnie. W^hat is it ? 

Mrs. T. Good news. 

Winnie. You arouse my curiosity. 

Mrs. T. Can you not guess ? (Winifred shakes her 
head) Well, then, listen. I shall soon see you in white 
satin and orange blossoms. 

Winnie. Mother ! 

Mrs, T. That's right, my child. All modest girls cast 
their eyes down when their marriage is mentioned. I 
did. But we soon raise them again. Let us talk seri- 
ously. Here is the letter I have just received from my 
old friend, Mrs. Steinmetz, who, as you know, has lived 
in Munich since she married. We were school-fellows, 
and it has always been our dearest wish that our children 
should be united. She now writes me that her son has 
just received a government appointment, and is in a posi- 
tion to marry, and if I will give my consent, he will come 
to England for you. Of course, I consent. I ani only too 
delighted at the marriage. What a busy time I shall 
have arranging everything for the weddmg. r\Iy child, I 



NEITHER OF THEM. 5 

congratulate you. There, don't speak, I know all you 
would say. I must go at once and tell your father. lam 
sure to find him muddling somewhere about the garden. 
{exit C.) 

Winnie. Oh, this is dreadful ! Oh, Charlie, there is 
no chance for us now.. Neither father nor mother will 
Consent to our engagement. They have both chosen hus- 
bands for me, and I shall have to give in to whoever's 
will is the stronger. Only half an hour ago I was so 
happy, and now I am the most miserable girl in the world. 
(ysobbing) 

Enter Mrs. Carrington, l. 

Mrs. C. What a touchmg situation ! Young girl all 
alone, sobbing violently, and in a voice choked with tears 
she exclaims, " I am the most miserable girl in the world." 

W^INNIE. Oh, Catherine, I am in such trouble, and 
you laugh at me. 

Mrs. C. Perhaps I should not if I knew the cause of 
your sorrow. What is it ? 

Winnie. You know what father and mother have 
always said about a girl's marriage, that if she were under 
age the husband should be chosen for her by her parents, 
that no young girl knows what is best for her future 
happiness. 

Mrs. C. I know uncle and aunt's ideas well enough. 
Did I not live in the house ? Fortunately for me, I was 
twenty-three when my dear old John asked the favor of 
my hand and and heart, so I was old enough to choose 
for myself". Well, who has been chosen for you ? 

Winnie. Father wishes me to marry his old friend, 
Mr. Jonathan Brown. 

Mrs. C. Indeed ! I can't say I think much of his 
choice. 

Winnie. And mother has arranged that young Mr. 
Steinmetz. whom I have never seen, shall be my husband. 

Mrs. C. And you are miserable about that ? Un- 
grateful girl. Why, other girls are happy if they can get 
one husband, as I, for instance, when I secured my dear 
old John, and you have tiie choice of two. 

Winnie, {sighing) Ah ! 

Mrs. C. {imitating hef) Ah ! It is wonderful how 
much can be expressed in a sigh. This " Ah I " means 
•' I like neither of them. * 



6 NEITHER OF THEM. 

Winnie, {softly) Right ! 

Mrs. C. And this soft whisper "Right" means "I 
love some one else," 

Winnie. Oh, Catherine, how can you ? 

Mrs, C. Yes, I know I am right. A proposal never 
makes a girl unhappy except when she does not care for 
the man, and a girl is generally unhappy when she is in 
love. Now, you do not care for either of the men chosen 
for you, and you are miserable, so you must be in love 
with some one else. It's a pity my dear old John did not 
hear this wonderful conclusion ; he would have been so 
proud of his logical little wife. 

Winnie, You are always in such good spirits. 

Mrs, C. I have only been married six months. Who 
kiiows what is in store for me ? 

Winnie. I know what is in store for me. My life's 
happiness is gone forever. 

Mrs, C. Oh ! how melodramatic. Come, confide in 
me, and perhaps we may be able to restore your •' life's 
happiness," (both sit on sofa) 

Winnie. 1 will tell you all! Yes, I do love 

Mrs. C. You little rogue ! I have had a slight sus- 
picion that your heart was no longer your own, but 
you have played your part so well that I have been 
doubtful. 

Winnie. The greatest secrecy was necessary. 

Mrs. C. But from me, your best friend, your cousin, 
your more than sister ! 

Winnie. Forgive me. I had promised Charlie to be 
silent. 

Mrs. C. So his name is Charlie, is it ? Now that I 
know the principal thing, the rest is easily told. 

Winnie. Charlie Lester. 

Mrs. C. Lester ? The young engineer who was here 
three years ago, superintending the laying down of the 
new railway ? 

Winnie. Yes. 

Mrs. C. Who used to sing so divinely, and who was 
always stroking his small lair moustache ? 

Winnie. It is he. 

Mrs. C. All honor to your choice. The man is thor- 
oughly clever and charming. At the time, if I had not 
already given my heart to my dear old John, who knows but 
that this young Lester would have captivated me as well. 



NEITHER OF THEM. 7 

Winnie. We loved each other, and could not hide 
our love, but Charlie had only just commenced his pro- 
fession, and had not the means to keep a wife, and he 
was too proud to live on the money he knew I should have, 
so with promises of undying constancy and secrecy we 
parted. During the last three years he has been working 
hard to gain a position, and he has at last succeeded, and 
he writes me he will be here to-morrow to ask my parents' 
consent to our marriage. 

Mrs. C. He has remained constant to you for three 
years ! (rises) My dear girl, you can make money out 
of the man by exhibiting him. 

Winnie, [rises) Would not your John have remained 
constant to you ? 

Mrs. C. My dear Winifred, there is but one John. 

Winnie. And there is but ojie Charlie. But let us 
talk seriously. He is coming to-morrow, and two other 
husbands have been chosen for me. 

Mrs. C. What do you think of doing ? 

Winnie. I shall confess my love, and entreat father 
and mother 

Mrs. C. Decidedly not. 

Winnie. Shall I refuse to obey them ? 

Mrs. C, Decidedly not. 

Winnie. Well, shall I run away and marry Charlie 
without their consent ? 

Mrs. C. Decidedly not. 

Winnie. What shall I do ? 

Mrs. C. Be diplomatic. Your father wishes you to 
marry Mr. Brown — horrid old man — and your mother 
wishes Mr. Steinmetz, a German {shuddering), to be her 
son-in-law. If I know these old people rightly there will 
be, as the boys would say, a grand row between them, for 
both are slightly obstinate, and neither will give in ; now, 
if you step in against them, the anger of both VN'ill fall 
upon you, and you will be the scapegoat. 

Winnie. Then, what shall I do ? 

Mrs. C. Let us go to your own little room and think 
it over. We shall soon come to a decision, {puts her 
arm round Winifred. Going) When both father and 
mother are waging war in different directions against 
their daughter's happiness they are sure to be defeated, 
that is, if the daughter be wise and diplomatic, {ex- 
eunt L.) 



8 NEITHER OF THEM. 

Enter Mr. Thompson, r. ; Mrs. Thompson, l. 

Mr. T. I have been searching for you all over the 
house. 

Mrs. T. And I have been looking for you all over the 
garden. 

Mr. T. {rubbing his hands) Now, for once, you can 
ride the high horse ; you are the principal person in the 
house, for now you must look after your daughter's trous- 
seau. 

Mrs. T. Yes ; and she shall have a trousseau of which 
the whole town shall talk. Every woman and girl shall 
die with envy. 

Mr. T. So you know already that Winifred is engaged. 
She was too happy to keep it a moment from you. I was 
looking for you to tell you everything. 

Mrs. T. Winifred told me! On the contrary, /^w 
must have heard it from her. 

Mr. T. How can you know it, if not from Winifred ? 

Mrs. T. Quite the reverse. If she has not told you, 
I cannot imagine where you have heard it. 

Mr. T. My dear Arabella, you are rather hazy this 
morning. Brown has only left me a quarter of an hour ago. 

Mrs. T. What do I care for Brown ? 

Mr. T. What do you care for your daughter's future 
husband ? 

Mrs. T. Who ? 

Mr. T. Brown ! 

Mrs. T. What ? 

Mr. T. The husband ! 

Mrs. T. Of whom ? 

Mr. T. Of Winifred! 

Mrs. T. We don't understand each other. I was 
speaking of young Mr. Steinmetz. 

Mr. T. Who ? 

Mrs. T. Steinmetz ! The husband ! 

Mr. T. Of whom ? 

Mrs. T. Of Winifred ! 

Mr. T. My dear Arabella, what could have put such 
an idea in your head ? 

Mrs. T. It is very simple. Here is his mother's letter, 
in which she formally asks our consent to the marriage. 
It has long been our wish that the young people should be 
united. 



NEITHER OF THEM. 9 

Mr. T. Ah, now I understand. You have been ar- 
ranging everything without consulting me. I am sorry 
you should have given yourself so much useless trouble. 

Mrs. T. What do you mean ? 

Mr. T. Had you consulted with me before 

Mrs. T, I don't understand you ! 

Mr. T. Jonathan Brown has this morning formally 
proposed for Winifred's hand, and I have consented. 

Mrs. T. It is not possible i 

Mr. T. You can therefore readily understand that you 
are a little too late. 

Mrs. T. Or you are. 

Mr. T. WHiat do you mean ? 

Mrs. T. My friend has my promise, and I shall 
keep it. 

Mr. T. Impossible. 

Mrs. T. Winifred marries Ferdinand Steinmetz. 

Mr. T. This is really enough to put me in a passion. 
There you stand as quietly as possible, and in a most cool 
and unconcerned way oppose my will. I tell you now, 
plainly, Jonathan Brown has ;;// promise, and Winifred 
marries Jonathan Brown. 

Mrs. T. Do you mean that 1 must give in ? Oh, no. 
Without even giving me a hint on the subject, you dis- 
pose of Winifred. 

Mr. T. And have you not done the same thing ? 
Have you not promised Winifred's hand without consult- 
ing me ? 

Mrs. T. I am her mother. 

Mr. T. And I am her father. 

Mrs. T. a daughters marriage is the mother's busi- 
ness. 

Mr. T. a daughter's marriage is no household busi- 
ness. 

Mrs. T. Who can judge better what a girl requires 
than her mother ? 

Mr. T. In judgment all women are weak ; it requires 
a man's superior mind. 

Mrs. T. You have not shown much superiority in 
your choice. 

Mr. T. WHiy not ? 

Mrs. T. Will you not give my poor child to Mr. Jona- 
than Brown ? 

Mr. T. Have you anything to say against him ? 



lo NEITHER OF THEM. 

Mrs. T. Anything ? Everything ! 

Mr. T. Indeed ! 

Mrs. T. The man is over forty. 

Mr. T. The best age for a man. 

Mrs. T. So yon may think, but no young girl will 
agree with you. Besides, Brown is a mean man. 

Mr. T. Economy is a virtue. 

Mrs. T. Without any imagination. 

Mr. T. He is a clever man of business. 

Mrs. T. It IS just that I don't like. All tradesmen 
are hard, matter-of-fact men, without soul, without mind 
for either art or beauty. 1 ccr Winilred would pine away 
if she were compelled to pass her life with such a dull, 
heavy, leathery sort of man. 

Mr. T. You are always down upon tradespeople. I 
made my money in trade, and I am proud of it ; and an 
honest, wealthy tradesman is far better than a beggarly 
German, who may perhaps have soul and mind for art 
and beauty, but he can't aflord to give his wife and chil- 
dren anything to eat, but sauerkraut and sausages. 

Mrs. T. Mr. Steinmetz is not a beggarly German. He 
has just received a government appointment, and he will 
have a salary of 3,000 marks. 

Mr. T. And how much is a mark ? 

Mrs. T. I — I think it is — about a shilling 

Mr. T. Three thousand shillings ! One hundred and 
fifty pounds a year ! A grand amount to keep a wife on. 
My dear Arabella, you cannot be in your right senses. 

Mrs. T. But Winifred wall have her own money. You 
have always said that when she marries you will settle 
^10,000 upon her. 

Mr. T. Not one farthing of money does she get if she 
marries against my wish. And now, listen, Arabella, I 
have had enough of this disputing. One word for all. I 
will never give my consent to your German. 

Mrs. T. Nor I lo your tradesman. 

Mr. T. You must. 

Mrs. T. I will not. 

Mr. T. I will find means to make you. 

Mrs. T. In what way ? 

Mr. T. This is really too much. My blood boils with 
anger and rage, and there stands that woman with the 
greatest coolness and composure, and persists in her own 
way. 



NEITHER OF THEM. ii 

Mrs. T. Would you have me get in a passion and 
storm, as you do ? We should have a nice noise. 

Mr. T. Brown marries the girl. 

Mrs. T. Stein metz marries her. 

Mr. T. I tell you, no, no, no ! 

Mrs. T. I tell you, yes, yes, yes ! 

Mr. T. Oh, I cannot say any more. I am beside my- 
self with rage. I must cool down, {going, then turns 
round sharply) But this much, mark you : you shall not 
have your own way, and if 1 — and if I — — 

Mrs. T. Well, what ? 

Mr. T. Oh, I don't quite know, but I shall soon think 
of something. You will kill me with your cool compo- 
sure, but — but — let me tell you, before I die I will make 
my will in such a manner that you shall not have your 
own way. {exit R.) 

Mrs. T. Is that a husband ! I had hoped that old age 
would have quieted him down, but he is and always will 
be like a powder-magazine. But he knows it does not 
answer with me ; I will have my own way. 

Enter Mrs. Carrington, l. 

Mrs. C. Good-morning, aunt, how are you ? 

Mrs. T. As well as one can be, when one is married. 
Husbands are always worrying. You will soon sing the 
same tune. 

Mrs. C. Oh, aunt, I hope not. My dear old John 
never worries me. 

Mrs. T. You have only been married six months. 
Wait a little while. 

Mrs. C. I am not uneasy. But have you been an- 
noyed ? 

Mrs. T. a little. You know your uncle. He is hasty 
and passionate, and I must be firm so as to accomplish 
what is right. 

Mrs. C. But are you then always right, aunt ? 

Mrs. T. Of course. At least one must always main- 
tain it. If you once allow to your husband that you think 
you are wrong, he will ever after take advantage of it. 
Therefore you must never give him an opportunity. 

Mrs. C. I will remember that, auntie. I don't think I 
am ever likely to have a difference of opinion with my 
husband, but who can tell what might happen ? May I 
ask the cause of your vexation with uncle .'' 

LofC. 



12 NEITHER OF THEM. 

Mrs. T. You can congratulate Winifred ; she is en- 
gaged . 

Mrs. C. Indeed ! 

Mrs. T. Yes ; to young Mr. Steinmetz. 

Mrs. C. You are joking. 

Mrs. T. Not at all. And your uncle wants her to 
marry old Mr. Brown ; but he shall not have his way. 

Mrs. C. . So uncle does not agree to your choice. But 
does Winifred consent ? 

Mrs. T. Winifred ! 

Mrs. C. She may care for some one else. 

Mrs. T. She does not think of such a thing. She has 
no fancy for any young man. 

Mrs. C. Hem, hem ! 

Mrs. T. You seem to question. 

Mrs. C. I don't know if I am doing right in telling 
you, but I feel that you ought to know all ! I am sure 
that Winifred loves Mr. Lester, and hopes to marry him. 

Mrs. T. Lester ! The young engineer ? 

Mrs. C. Yes. 

Mrs. T. Oh, I could get in a passion like my husband. 
I lose all patience. Here, I take the greatest trouble to 
find a suitable marriage for the girl, and behind my back 
she carries on a love-affair. But I shall not allow it ; I 
shall soon set this riglit. And though both father and 
daughter are against me, they shall not have their own way. 
Where is this undutiful girl, who has dared to fall in love 
without her mother's knowledge ? 

Mrs. C. But, aunt, did you not do the same thing ? 

Mrs. T. And I have been punished enough for it ; for 
your uncle is now unbearable. But I will not believe 
this of Winifred. I should have noticed it. 

Enter Winifred, l. 

Mrs. T. You come just at the right moment, Winifred. 
I told you a little while ago of ]\Ir. Steinmetz's proposal. 
You have not yet given me your answer. 

Winifred. What answer can I give ? Is it not my 
duty to accept the husband my mother has chosen for me ? 

Mrs. T. {to Mrs. C.) There, you see ! {to W'INNIE) 
You have then no objection to the engagement ? 

Winnie. Would it be right for me to object ? 

Mrs. T. {to Mrs. C.) There, you see ! {to WiNNlE) 
Catherine says you care for some one else. 



NEITHER OF THEM. 13 

Winnie. Oh ! how wrong to tell tales ! Well, I con- 
fess that — that I have a slight fancy for Mr. Lester, but 
since you have other views for me, my feelings must be 
conquered. 

Mrs. C. {aside) Well said, my little pupil. 

Mrs. T. {to Mrs. C.) There, you see ! {to W^INNIE, 
kissing her) You are my dear dutiful daughter. But it 
is only what I expected of my child, {aside to Mrs. 
C.) Her love for Mr. Lester could not have been very 
strong. 

Mrs. C. If I have been wrong, so much the better. 

Mrs. T. Now, my darling child, send Parker to me ; 
I have to give her some orders. And I will write at once 
to my old friend and settle everything. You are a dear, 
good girl, {kisses Winnie, and exit l.) 

Winnie, {ritniiing after her) Mother, listen. 

Mrs. C. {detaining her) Remain where you are. 

Winnie. Did you not hear she is going to write ? All 
will be lost if she once gives her written consent ; I must 
tell everything. 

Mrs. C. And spoil everything, 

Winnie. No, no, she will yield to my entreaties. 

Mrs. C. She might have done so under other circum- 
stances. But now she means to oppose her will against 
your father ; and she does not care if you suffer through it. 

Winnie. Catherine, I do not understand your plan. 

Mrs. C. I have undertaken the management of this 
affair. Therefore, you must blindly follow my directions. 
Now, go and send Parker to your mother, for she won't 
like to be kept waiting. 

Winnie. Oh, Catherine, I fear you are only making 
matters worse, {exit L.) 

Mrs. C. Poor little silly girl ! If this were left entirely 
in her hands, what a mess she would make of it. It 
requires the worldly experience of an old married woman. 
{knocks at door, R.) 

Mr. T. {withifi) Who's there ? 

Mrs. C. It is I, uncle ; Catherine. May I have a word 
with you ? 

Mr. T. {ivithifi) I am coming. 

Mrs. C. With you, my dear uncle, things are much 
easier ; your vehemence deprives you of all clearness of 
perception. When one only understands how to treat you, 
then the game is easily won. 



14 NEITHER OF THEM. 

Enter Mr. Thompson, r. 

Mr. T. [roughly) Is it you, Catherine ? What brings 
you here ? 

Mrs. C. Oh, is that the way to receive a charming 
niece and ward } I have always understood that an uncle 
ought to be nice and polite to his pretty young niece. 

Mr. T. I am not in the humor to be polite to any one. 

Mrs. C. So, it is my guardian I see this morning, and 
not my dear uncle. It is fortunate that I only come on 
business. This paper, about the transfer of those shares 
of mine, requires your signature. Will you kindly sign it ? 

Mr. T. Give it here, {goes to table and writes) 

Mrs. C. Who has then put you in such a bad temper, 
that I have not even had a kiss from you? 

Mr. T. You ask me who has put me in a bad temper ? 
My wife, who else ? Who vexes me ? My wife. Who 
makes my life a burden to me ? My wife. Who destroys 
my peace of mind ? My wife. But she shall not have her 
own way. This time she shall not have her own way. 

Mrs. C. Hem, hem ! 

Mr. T. What do you mean by " Hem, hem ! " ? 

Mrs. C. That " Hem, hemV was the expression of a 
slight doubt which arose in my mind. 

Mr. T. You doubt — what ? 

Mrs. C. Did I not live for many years in this house 
before I married ? Do I not know my dear aunt ? And do 
I not know that she well understands the best method of 
getting her own way ? 

Mr, T. But this time she will not succeed, of that you 
may be certain. 

Mrs. C. May I be bold enough to ask what is the sub- 
ject in question ? 

PnIr. T. Winifred's marriage. 

Mrs. C. Indeed ! 

Mr. T. I have chosen Mr. Brown for her. 

Mrs. C. Hem, hem ! 

Mr. T. And my wife wants her to marry Mr. Stein- 
metz. 

Mrs. C. Hem, hem ! 

Mr. T. But I am the master here, and I w///be obeyed. 

Mrs. C. Hem, hem ! 

Mr. T. What do you mean by this continual " Hem, 
hem ! " t 



NEITHER OF THEM. 15 

Mrs. C. This continual " Hem, hem ! " means my 
continual doubt. 

Mr. T. You doubt my firmness ? You shall see. 

Mrs. C. If it were aunt alone against you, then you 
might succeed. But there is Winifred as well. 

Mr. T. What ! she will side with her mother ? I 
shall know how to subdue /ter. 

Mrs. C. One cannot subdue a heart which is strength- 
ened by true love. 

Mr. T. What ! Winifred loves 

Mrs, C. Mr. Charles Lester. 

Mr. T. Indeed ! That shall soon be settled, (goes 
to the door, L., a7id calls) James ! James ! tell Miss 
Winifred I want her. {coming down) How do you know 
this ? 

Mrs. C. What a question to ask ! We women know 
everything. Men are blind, and can only see what they 
can take hold of. In these cases, women have a sixth 
sense, and can always discover a love affair, 

Mr. T. You always were a sly cat. 

Mrs. C. Sly cat ! Oh, uncle ! My dear old John calls 
me "sweet angel." That sounds ever so much nicer. 

Mr. T. Your dear old John is a fool. 

Enter Winifred, l. 

Winnie. Did you want me, father ? 

Mr. T. Pretty things I have just heard about you. 
You have been carrying on a love-affair without my 
knowledge. 

Winnie. My dear father ! 

Mr. T. You mean to oppose my wishes ? 

Winnie. Who said so ? 

Mr. T. Catherine has told me everything. Now give 
me a decided answer. I wish you to marry Mr. Brown. 
Do you mean to be disobedient ? 

Winnie. No. 

Mr. T. No ! 

Winnie. No. 

Mr. T. Then you do not love Mr. Lester ? 

Winnie. If I could have obtained your consent, then, 
I confess that I would rather have Mr. Lester lor my hus- 
band than any other man, but I would never oppose your 
v^ishes. 



i6 NEITHER OF THEM. 

Mrs. C. {aside) Good little girl. 

Mr. T. {to Mrs. C.) What do you say to that ? She 
does not appear to be very disobedient, eh ? 

Mrs. C. Because you are a tyrant, and the poor child 
is far too frightened to acknowledge her love. I should 
not have been so easy. 

Mr. T. That I believe. I am very glad that you are 
only my niece. My Winifred is a dear, good girl, and 
obedient to her father. Now, I have only my wife to deal 
\\\\.\\, and this time she will certainly not have her own 
way. 

Enter MRS. THOMPSON, L. 

Mrs. T. Good gracious ! who is speaking so loudly ? 
Is there a quarrel or dispute ? 

Mr. T. Not yet, but there will soon be now you are 
here. 

Mrs, T. That sounds as if I were the quarrelsome 
one, and I am patience itself. 

Mr. T. That I have already proved this morning, 
Your confounded patience put me in a rage. 

Mrs. T. Is it my fault if you flare up like a lucifer- 
match if one only speaks to you ? 

Mr. T. You call that only speaking when you oppose 
my will ? 

Mrs. T. Allow me to remark that I have as much 
right to a will as you. 

Mr. T. In this instance the father has to decide. 

Mrs. T. In this instance the mother has to decide. 

Mr. T. The father ! 

Mrs. T. The mother ! 

Mr. T. You shall not have your own way. 

Mrs. T. You shall not have your own Vv'ay. 

Mr. T. Winifred shall be Mrs. Jonathan Brown. 

Mrs. T. Winifred shall be Mrs. Ferdinand Steinmetz. 

Mrs. C. Pity ! pity ! pity ! 

Mr. T. What's a pity ? 

Mrs. C. That I have a husband already. For if I 
were only unmarried I could have one of these two men 
nd Winifred the other, and all would be settled. 

Mr. T. I have already settled everything. 

Mrs. T. That we shall soon see. Winifred, will you 
oppose my wishes ? 

Winnie. No, mother. 



NEITHER OF THEM. 17 

Mr. T. Winifred, come here. Are you going to dis- 
obey me ? 

Winnie. Not on any account, father. 

Mr. T. Then she obeys me. 

Mrs. T. No, she obeys me. 

Mrs. C. {centre) My plan is working beautifully. 

Mrs. T. She shall obey me. 

Mr. T. She shall obey me. 

Mrs. C. Then she must marry both men. 

Mr. T. I shall not give in. You shall not always have 
your own way. I have given my word, and I am not 
going to break it. 

Mrs, T. And I have made up my mind not to give in. 
■ ' Mrs. C. This is a dreadful business. I only know one 
way out of it. 

Mr. T. W^hat is it .? 

Mrs. C. If Winifred accepts Mr. Steinmetz she offends 
her father ; if she marries Mr. Brown then her mother 
will never forgive her. Therefore, she must have neither 
of them. 

Mrs. T. ) ., ,, . ^-^, ^ - 

Mr. T. j" ^i^S^*^^^^) What ? 

Mrs. C. Winifred, will you incur your father's anger ? 
Winnie. Never. 

Mrs. C. Will you disobey your mother ? 
Winnie. Not for all the world. 

Mrs. C. Then, my poor child, you must be an old 
maid. 

Mrs. T. ) ,^ ., , --,, ^ 
Mr. T. \ {ioS^iJ'^r) What ? 

Mrs. C. Or marry some one else. There is no other 
way. 

Mrs. T. But my own way 

Mr. T. You shall not have. I would rather the girl 
died an old maid. 

Mrs. T. And before you should have your way I'd 
rather she married some one else. 

Mrs. C. If only we knew of some one else. 

Mrs. T. Ah, Winifred, you said you cared for Mr. 
Lester. 

Winnie. I do, mother. 

Mrs. T, Well, then, rather than your father should 
have his own way, by all means marry him. 

Winnie. Will you consent, father ? 

2 



■*..V1'^ 



i8 



NEITHER OF THEM. 



Mr. T. Sooner than your mother should gain the day, 
marry him. 

Mrs. C. Ah ! thank goodness ! (aside) What a 
clever little woman I am, to be sure. It's no wonder my 
dear old John is so proud of me. {to WiNNIE) Then Mr. 
Lester is to be your husband ? 

Winnie. Father? 

Mr. T. Yes. 

Winnie. Mother ? 

Mrs. T. Yes. 

Mrs. C. That's settled. Come, uncle, shake hands 
with auntie, and be good friends again, {draws thetn 
together) 

Mr. T. {after a little hesitation gives his hand) 
Well, then, old woman. 

Mrs. T. {gives her hand) There. But, after all, 
you have not had your own way. 

Mr. T. Nor you, yours. 

Mrs. C. No, but we, ours. 

Mr^t'^* [ {together) What do you mean ? 
Mrs. C. Nothing. We will explain further after 
luncheon. 



QUICK CURTAIN. 



^"SEND FOR A NEW DESCRIPTIVE CATALOGUE. 



(French's Standard Drama Continwrd from 2d page of Cover.) 



VOL. XLI. 
The Pirate's Legacy 
The Charcoal liuruer 
Adelgitha 
Senor Valiente 
Forest Rose 
Duke's Daughter 
Camilla's Husband 
Pure Gold 

VOL. XLII. 
Ticket of Leave Man 
Fool't Resenpe 
O'Neil the Great 
Handy Andy 
Pirate of the 1(168 
Faiichon 
Little Barefoot 
Wild Irish Girl 

VOL. XLllL 
Pearl of Savoy 
Dead Heart 
Ten Nights 
Dumb Boy of Manchester 
Belphegor tlie Mounteb'k 
Cricket on tlie Hearth 
Printer's Devil 
Meg's Diversion 



-room 



I VOL. XLIV. 

345 Drunkard's Doom 
ii'a Jhininey Corner 
J-t? Fifteen Years of a Drunk- 
.'.48 No Thoroughfare ["ard's 
:j4tf Peep O' Day L^ife 

350 Everybody's Friend 

351 Gon. Grant 

352 Kathleen Mavourneen 

VOL. XLV. 

353 Nick Whiffles 

354 Fruits of the Wine Cup 

355 Drunkard's W^arninK 

356 Temperance DootCT 
867 Aunt Dinah 

358 Widow Freeheart 

359 Frou Frou 

360 Long Strike 

VOL. XLVI. 

361 Lancers 
365 Lucille 

363 Randall's Thumb 

364 Wicked World 

365 Two Orphans 

366 Colleen Bawn 

367 'Twixt A.xe and Crown 

368 Lady Clancarthy 



VOL. XLVH. 

369 Saratoga 

370 Never Too Late to Mend 

371 Lily of France 

372 Led Astray 

373 Henry V 

374 Unequal Match 

375 May or Dolly's Delusion 

376 Allatoona 

VOL. XLVni. 

377 Enoch Arden 

378 Under the Gas Light 

379 Daniel RodM4 

380 Casta 

381 Scbo<4 

382 Home 

383 David Garriok 

384 Ours 

VOL. XLIX. 

385 Social Glass 

386 Daniel Druce 

387 Two Roses 

388 Adrlenne 
■i89 The Bells 

390 Uncle 

391 Courtship 

392 Not Such a Fool 



VOL. L. 

393 Fine Feathers 

394 Prompter's Box 

395 Iron Master 

396 Engaged 

i97 Pygmalion & Galatea 

398 Leah 

399 Scrap of Paper 
100 Lost in London 

VOL. LL 

401 Ootoroon 

402 Confederate Spy 

403 Mariner's Return 

404 Ruined by Drink 

405 Dreams 

406 M. P. 

407 War 

408 Birtli 

VOL. Lir. 

409 Nightingale 

410 Progress 
■■■ Play 

412 Midnight Charge 

413 Confidential Clerk 

414 Snowball 

415 Our Regiment 

416 Married for Money 
Hamlet in Three Acts 
Guttle & Gulpit 



FRENCH'S INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHTED EDITION 
OF THE WORKS OF THE BEST AUTHORS. 

The following very successful plays have just been issued at 25 cents per copy. 



A PAIR OF SPECTACLES. Comedy in 3 Acts 
by bYDNKY Gkundy, autljor of " Sowing the Wind," 
&c. 8 male, 3 female characters. 

A FOOL'S PARADISE. An original play in 3 
Acts bv Sydnky Grundy, author of "Sowing the 
Wind,'' kc. 5 male, 4 female characters. 

THE SILVER SHIELD. An original comedy in 
3 Acts by SvnNKY Gruxdy, author of "Sowing the 
Wind," &c. 5 male, 3 female characters. 

THE GLASS OP PASHIOK. An original com- 
edy in 4 Acts by Syoney Grundy, author of " Sowing 
the Wind," &c. 5 male, 5 female characters. 



THE BALLOON. Farcical comedy In 3 Acts by J. 
H. Darnlkt and Manville Fenn. 6 male, 4 female 
characters. 

MISS CLEOPATRA. Farce in 3 Acts by Arthur 
Shirley. 7 male, 3 female characters. 

SIX PERSONS. Comedy Act by I. Zanowill. 
1 male, 1 female character. 

FASHIONABLE INTBLLIOENCE. Comedi- 
etta in 1 Act by Percy Fbndall. 1 male, 1 female 
character. 

HIGHLAND LEGACY, Comedy In 1 Act bv 



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French's Standard and Minor Drama 

French's Standard and Minor Drama, 

bound 
French's Scenes for Amateurs 
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Make-Up Book 
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Mrs. Jarley's Wax Works 
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Talma Actor's Art 

Temperance Plavs 

Vocal Music of S^hakespeare's Play« 

Webster's Acting Edition 

Wigs, etc 



{French's Minor Drama Continued front 4tb page of Cover.) 



I Love 
[Letter 



VOL. XLT. 

Adventures of 
Lost Child 
Court Cards 
Cox and Box 
Forty Winks 
Wonderful Woman 
Curious Case 
Tweedletou's Tail Coat 



VOL. XLII. 
329 As Like as Two Peas 
3.30 Presumptive Evidence 
331 Happv Band 
:i32 Pinafore 

333 Mook Trial 

334 My Uncle's Will 

335 Happy Pair 

336 My Turn Next 



VOL. XLin. 

337 Sunset 

338 For Haifa Million 

339 Cable Car 
:«0 Early Bird 

341 Alumni Play 

342 Show of Hands 

343 Barbara 

344 Who's Who 



VOL. XLIV. 

345 Who's To Win Him 

346 Which is Which 

347 Cup of Tea 

348 Sarah's Young Man 

349 Hearts 

350 In Honor Bound [Lai 
851 Freezing a Mother-lc 
352 My Lord in Livery 



SAMUEL FRENCH, 26 West 22d St., New York City. 



New and Explicit Descriptive Catalogue Mailed Free on Request. 



FRENCH'S MINOR DRAMA. 



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VOL. I. 
1 Th« IrUh Attorney 
3 Booti «t the Swan 

3 How to Pay the Rent 

4 The Loan of a Lover 
e The Dead Shot 

6 His Last Legs 

7 The InvJtlble Prlnc* 

8 The Golden Farmer 

VOL. II. 

9 Pride of the Market 

10 Used Up 

1 1 The Irish Tutor 

1 J The Barrack Room 
13 Luke the Laborer 
U Beauty and the Beait 

15 St. Patrick's Ev« 

16 Captain of tlie Watch 

VOL. III. 
IT The Secret Ipers 

18 White Horse of the Pep- 

19 The JacobiU 

20 The Bottle 

21 Box and Cox 

22 Bambooiling 

23 Widow's Victim 

24 Robert Mftcalre 

VOL. IV. 

25 Secret Service 

26 Omnibus 
2T Irish Lion 

28 Maid of Crolssy 

29 The Old Guard 

30 Ralsinif the Wind 

31 Slasher and Crasher 
82 Naval Engagement* 

VOL. V. 

33 Cockniei In California 

34 Who Speaks First 

35 Bombastes Furioso 

36 Macbeth Travestie 
31 Irish Ambassador 
88 Delicate Ground 

39 The Weathercock [Gold 

40 All that Glitters is Not 

VOL. VI, 

41 Grimthaw, Bagshaw and 

Bradshaw 

42 Rough Diamond 

43 Bloomer Costume 

44 Two Bonnycastles 

45 Born to Good Luck 

46 Kiss in the Dark [jurer 

47 'Twould PuKle a Con 

48 Kill or Cure 

VOL. VII. 

49 Box and Cox Married and 
60 St. Cupid [Settled 

51 Go-to-bed Tom 

52 The Lawyers 

53 Jack Sheppard 

54 The Toodles 

65 The Mobcap 

66 Ladies Beware 

VOL. vin. 

6T Morning Call 

68 Popping the Question 

59 Deaf as a Pott 

60 New Footman 

61 Pleasant Neighbor 
64 Paddy the Piper 

63 Brian O'Linn 

64 Irish Assurance 

VOL. IX. 

65 Temptation 
«6 Paddy Carey 

67 Two Gregoriee 

68 King Charming 

69 Po-ca-hon-tas 

70 Clockmaker't Hat 
Tl Married R*k* 

75 Love and Murder 
VOL. X. 

73 Ireland and America 

74 Pretty Piece of Busioesi 

75 Irish Broom-Biaker 

76 T* Paris and Back f< 

Five Pounds 

77 That Blessed Baby 

78 Onr Gal 

ft Swiss CotUg* 
90 Yeung Widow 



5 Cents each.— Bound Voin«"— ** '•- 

LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 



VOL. XI. 

81 O'Flannigan and the Fair 

82 Irish Post [ries 

83 My Neighbor's Wife 

84 Irish Tiger 

85 P. P., or Man and Tiger 

86 To Oblige Benion 

87 State Secrets 

88 Irish Yankee 

VOL. XII. 

89 A Good Fellow 

90 Cherry and Fair Star 

91 Gale Breeiely 
9S Our Jemimy 

93 Miller's Maid 

94 Awkward Arrival 

95 Crossing the Line 

96 Conjugal Lesson 

VOL. XIII. 

97 My Wife's Mirror 

98 Life in New York 

99 Middy Ashore 

100 Crown Prince 

101 Two Queens 

102 Thumping Legacy 
lOS Unfinished Gentleman 

104 House Dog 

VOL. XIV. 

105 The Demon Lover 

106 Matrimony 

107 In and Out of Place 

108 I Dine with My Mother 

109 Hi-a-wa-tha 
lie Andv Blftke 

111 Love" in '76 [tie< 

112 Romance under Difficul- 

VOL. XV. 

113 One Coat for 2 Suits 

114 A Decided Case 

115 Daughter [norlty 

116 No; or, the Glorious MJ- 

117 Coroner's Inquisition 

118 Love in Humble Life 

119 Family J!*rs 

120 Personation 

VOL. XVI. 

121 Children la the Wood 

138 Winning a Husband 
133 Day After the Fair 

124 Make Your Will* 

125 Rendeivous 

126 My Wife's Husband 
137 Monsieur Tonson 

128 Illustrious Stranger 

VOL. XVII. 

129 Mischief-Making [Mines 

130 A Live Woman in the 

131 The Corsair 

132 Shy lock 

133 Spoiled Child 

134 Evil Eye 

135 Nothing to Nurse 

136 Wanted a Widow 

VOL. xvin. 

137 Lottery Ticket 
<38 Fortune's Frolic 

139 Is he Jealous 1 

140 Married Bachelor 

141 Husband at Sight 
143 Irishman in London 

143 Animal Magnetism 

144 Highways and By-Ways 

VOL. XIX. 

145 Columbus 

14< Harlequin Bluebeard 

147 Ladies at Home 

148 Phenomenon in a Smock 

Frock 

149 Comedy and Tragedy 

160 Opposite Neighbors 

161 Dutchman's Ghost 
US Persecuted Dutchman 

VOL. XX. 
153 Musard Ball 

164 Great Tragic Revival 

165 High Low Jack & Game 

156 A Gentleman from Ire- 

157 Tom and Jerry [land 

168 Village Lawyer 

169 Captain's not A-mIss 
160 Amateurs and Acton 




e 014 644_736 3 t 



1«9 

170 hiram Hireout 

171 Double-Bedded Room 

172 The Drama Defended 

173 Vermont Wool Dealer 

174 Kbeneier Venture [ter 

175 Principles from Chnrac-i255 Tiie Shaker Lovers 

176 Lady of the Lake (Trav) 256 Ticklish Tim 

VOL. XXIIL 

177 Mad Dogs 

178 Barney tne Bnron 

179 Swiss Swains 

180 Bachelor's Bedroom 

181 A Roland for an Oliver 

182 More Blunders than One 

183 Dumb Belle 
1«4 Limerick Boy 

VOL. XXlV. 

185 Nature and Philosophy 

186 Teddy the Tiler 



187 Spectre Bridegroom 

188 Matteo Falcone 

189 Jenny Lind 

190 Two Buizards 

191 Happy Man 

192 Betsy Bakw 

VOL. XXV. 

193 No. 1 Round the Cornet 

194 Teddy Roe 

195 Object of Interest 

196 My Fellow Clerk 

197 Bengal Tiger 

198 Laughing Hvena 

199 The Victor V^anquished 

200 Our Wife 

VOL. XXVI. 

201 My Husband's Mlrroir 
302 Yankee Land 

203 Norah Creina 

204 Good for Nothing 
206 The First Night 

206 The Eton Boy 

207 Wandering Minstrel 

208 Wanted, 1000 Millinen 

VOL. XXVIL 

209 Poor Pileoddy 

210 The Mummy [Glasses 

211 Don't Forget your Opera 
213 Love in Livery 

213 Anthony and Cleopatra 

214 Trying It On 

215 Stage Struck Yankee 

216 Younjr Wife & Old Um- 

brella 

VOL. xxvin. 

217 Crinoline 

218 A Family Falling 

219 Adopted Child 

220 Turned Heads 

221 A Match in the Dark 

222 Advice to Husbands 
233 Siamese Twins 

224 Sent to the Tower 

VOL. XXIX. 

225 Somebody Else 
2/6 Ladies' Battle 

227 Art of Acting 

228 The Lady of the Lloni 

229 The Rights of Man 

230 My Husband's Ghost 

231 Two Can Play at that 

Game 

232 Fighting by Proxy 

VOL, XXX. 

233 Unprotected Female 

234 Pet of the PetticoaU 

236 Forty and Fifty [book 
236 Who Stole the Pocket- 
337 My Son Diana [sion 

238 Unwarrantable Intrn- 
339 Mr. and Mrs. White 
94e A Quiet Family 



wurui 

250 Out to Nurse 

251 A Lucky Hit 

252 The Dowager 

253 Mtitamora (Burlesque) 

254 Dreams of Delusion 



VOL. -XXXllL 
■iBl 20 Minutes with a Tiger 

258 Miralda; or, the Justice 
of Tacon 

259 A Soldier's Courtship 

260 Servants by Legacy 

261 Dying for Love 
26v Alftrtiiing Sacrifice 

263 Valet de Shhm 

264 Nicholas Nickleb' 



{French^ s Minor Drama Continued on jd page of Cover.) 



265 The Last of the Pigtails 

266 King Rene's Daughter 

267 The Grotto Nymph 

268 A Devilish Good Joke 

269 A Twice Told Tale 

270 Pas de Fascination 
771 Revolutionary Soldier 

272 A Man Without a Head 

VOL, XXXV. 

273 The Olio, Part 1 
874 The Olio, Part 9 

276 The Olio, Part 3 [ter 
376 The Trumpeter's Daugh- 

277 Seeing Warren 

278 Green Mountsiln Boy 

279 That Nose 

260 Tom Noddv's Secret 
VOL. X'XXVL 

281 Shocking Events 

282 A Regular Fijt 

983 Dicli Turpin 

984 Young Scamp 
385 Young Actress 

286 Call at No. 1—7 

287 One Touch of Nature 

288 Two B'hoy* 

VOL. XXXVII. 

289 All the World's a Stage 

290 Quash, or Nigger Prac- 

291 Turn Him Out [tice 

292 Pretty Girls of Stillberg 

293 Angel of the Attic 

394 CircumstancesalterCase* 
295 Katty O'Sheal 
396 A Supper In Dixie 

VOL. xxxvin. 

297 Ici on Parle Francais 

298 Who Killed Cock Robin 

299 Declaration of Independ- 

300 Heads or Tails [ence 

301 Obstinate Family 
802 My Aunt 

303 That Rascal Pat 

304 Don Paddy de Bazan 

VOL. XXXIX. [ture 
306 Too Much for Good Na- 

306 Cure for the Fidgets 

307 Jack's the Lad 

308 Much Ado AboutNothIng 

809 Artful Dodger 

810 Winning Haxard 

311 Day's Fishing [Ac. 

813 Did you aver send your, 

VOL. XL. 

813 An Irishman's Maneuver 

814 Cousin Fannie 

31 5 'Tis the Darkest Hour be- 
216 Masquerade [fore Dawn 
317 Crowding the Season 
818 Good Night's Rest 
319 Man with the Carpet Bag 
820 Terrible Tinker 



SAMUEL FRENCH, 36 West 23d Street, New York City. 



